While it can be easier said than done, this quick blog reading will share helpful guidance on what it looks like to set boundaries and how to successfully accomplish setting boundaries without compromising yourself. So let’s get into it.

What are boundaries?

Boundaries are the limits you define for yourself so others are aware of how to treat you as well as so you are aware of what you are or are not willing to compromise. Boundaries can fall into multiple categories such as physical (I.e not wanting to be touched a certain way or in a certain place), mental (I.e limiting the types of thoughts you allow yourself to have such as negative self talk), emotional (I.e being cognizant of who you choose to be vulnerable with), social (I.e placing constraints on who or how you engage with others), or material (I.e understanding what possessions you value and how you and others may or may not engage with it). Some others to consider could be financial, time, etc. 

Are boundaries healthy?

In short, yes, boundaries are healthy. They are important to have as they contribute to improving your overall wellbeing. Someone who lacks boundaries may find themselves constantly people pleasing,  being taken advantage of, having little to no energy to invest in themselves, etc. Someone who has incorporated healthy boundaries into their lives is more likely to feel balanced, less stressed or anxious, and more well rounded. 

How do I know if I need to set boundaries?

Everyone can benefit from setting boundaries. What’s important to understand is what your boundaries are so you can implement them successfully. Tips for learning to narrow down what your boundaries may be is by 

1. Paying attention to moments, people, or things that leave you feeling depleted. 

2. Consider your values and what you would say is important to you. 

3. Think about what you would say is a necessity for you to be your best version of yourself. 

Once you’ve developed a deeper understanding of yourself, you’re more likely to be able to get clear on where to begin with the boundaries you’d like to set. This makes it easier for you to implement those boundaries when the time comes. 

Tips on how to set boundaries

Once you’ve identified the boundaries you feel need to be incorporated into your life, it will be important to be able to enforce them successfully. Here are some tips on how to set boundaries. 

• Be clear and concise. No need to add in additional fluff or overly explain your why behind your boundaries. In some cases, you may have the time, energy, and willingness to do so depending on the person or situation, but it’s not always necessary or productive. 

• Consistency. Consistency. Consistency. At first, setting boundaries can be difficult and rub people the wrong way. Sometimes people may even take offense to a boundary you have set. However, it is important to stand firm in your boundaries as this will increase the likelihood of someone respecting you and your boundaries, regardless if they agree or disagree. 

• Be unapologetic. In other words, stand firm in your boundaries. Remember that you set it for a reason, so you don’t need to apologize due to someone else’s discomfort around your boundary. Those who get it, get it, and those who don’t may choose to get going.

• Communicate with compassion. While boundaries may be unwavering and strong stances, your way of communicating them will be most important when trying to maintain relationships. It’s not always about what you say, but more so how you say it. Remember, communication includes words, tone, body language, so try your best to be firm yet gentle. 

• Start small. Usually people have multiple boundaries. If you are new to setting boundaries, it could be helpful to start with enforcing the ones you would consider to be less intimidating to communicate. Work your way up, but try not to take too long because again, boundaries are healthy and ultimately work in your benefit.

Help with setting boundaries

Setting boundaries successfully does require a certain amount of effort and having the ability to use certain skills. If you are someone who is struggling with setting boundaries, and it is starting to impact your day to day and relationships, then therapy could be a good solution for you. With therapy, you can learn techniques and skills while practicing in a safe space to learn how to effectively identify and implement your boundaries. At CoreWellness, LLC, we offer free consultations (click here to book) to give you the opportunity to speak with a licensed clinician who can discuss further how we can support you and your goals. Feel free to reach out via phone at 214-307-2649 or email us at admin@corewellnessteam.com or by completing the form below. Talk soon!